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The Essential Rules of Love

How much easier would marriage be with a manual? What if you could learn the rules from an attorney who's "been there and done that?" The Essential Rules of Love is such a resource. Author Phil Russotti brings together his story as both a memoir and a manual that will most definitely impact your marriage.

The Essential Rules of Love are not boring legalese but rather boil down to valuable Dos and Don'ts that we all need to be reminded of. Ultimately an extraordinary marriage comes down to being intentional and taking action. This book, these Essential Rules of Love, will equip you to do just that.

- Alisa DiLorenzo, Author of the Best Seller The 6 Pillars of Intimacy and co-founder of ONE Extraordinary Marriage


When the love of his life died and he was beside himself with grief, Philip Russotti was thrown a lifeline by an insightful therapist: “Do you think that, with all your life experience, you might have some wisdom to pass on to your grandchildren about how life should be lived...?" It was not an empty platitude about time healing, but a challenge that sent Philip down an arduous path of research and writing. As a successful trial attorney, he approached the challenge with the same rigor he brought to his professional work. What is love? What makes a relationship work? What do psychologists say? What do scientists say? What did we do right? What guidelines might help us navigate? In answering the questions, Philip also pays a profound tribute to his late wife Susan and to the beautiful relationship they had.

- Donna Bearder, Author of Finding More Me: Journaling to Go Soul Deep


The Essential Rules of Love is an exceptional, well-written, and thoroughly researched guide for successful love in relationships. The use of song lyrics about love scattered through the book is moving, and I didn’t realize the staggering number of love songs is well over 100 million. For anyone in a relationship, new or old, this is a guide on the scientific and biological aspects of this thing called love. After my beloved husband of 30 years died, I met a man on the dance floor in Sarasota. Never in a million years would I have dreamed I’d find another great love, let alone get married again. My new love (and now husband) Jeff said the “F” word first - Forever. I asked him - how could you know! With his right hand clenched, he tapped it on his heart saying - it’s right here - that’s how I know. Love does complete life, and love does not die with death, both can exist in your heart – I believe this with my whole being. The “ten don’ts and do’s” are practical and easy to remember. This is the most complete book of love I’ve ever read. All stages from passion, lust, love, and longevity are covered in detail. Thank you for this wonderful read.

- Marie Scott, Bestselling author, speaker, and wellness coach. “How I Found Meaning (and Humor) in Widowhood, Firehouses, and Organic Vegetables: 7 Steps to Healing After Loss” and “Wellness Wisdom: The Holistic Guide to Revitalizing your Mind, Body and Soul


A unique approach to love and a must read for anyone who truly wants to be a better lover

This is, as it must be, primarily a love story. One told with a striking depth of feeling. As a world class litigator, Russotti is a world class story teller. But he has done more than just tell a story. He used his skill at marshaling evidence to sift through the philosophical and scientific literature on love and made his story into a vehicle for interpreting those texts by telling us what worked for him (and what didn't) with wistfulness, humor and an abundance of human compassion. The insights he shares are easy to relate to and connect with. Although this is essentially a story of loss, it is also a message of hope. Where philosophy and science communicate the do's and don'ts as prescriptive admonitions, he passes them on as observations sharpened through the lens of his considerable experience. You feel his love for you as a reader...and that is what ultimately validates his advice. I ran through it in a few hours and got a good return on my investment.

- Paul Debary


Mr. Russotti examines love with empathy, courage, honesty, and humor. He deals with love and loss. We start with a definition of what it is and then discuss love and sex. The author suggests some rules to govern love, then shifts to cooking and savoring. Finally, Mr. Russotti deals with the death of a loved one.

This book is both personal and scholarly. Mr. Russotti draws upon his remarkable love affair and sources cited in over one hundred endnotes. A highly commendable work.

- James M. Hazen


Engaging and Intelligent

I expected the memoir and self-help aspects of The Essential Rules of Love, but I did not know it would be such an interesting and intelligent academic treatise. Russotti tackles the subject from every angle, and every reader I’m sure gains a deeper understanding of what an important asset love is. I particularly liked the emotion versus feeling arguments. This book is a valuable resource in itself.

- MG


Great insights into relationships!

The book was purchased as a gift for Valentine's Day, but instead of giving it away, I gave it to myself. And what a great read! The insights are plentiful and the anecdotes on point. Love has to be worked on. Sparks don't keep a fire burning; tending to the fire does. Anyone interested in maintaining a great relationship based on love and respect should read this book!

- Emily Campbell

The Essential Rules of Love

“I wanted to use my own experiences to teach others how to have a loving and committed relationship.”
-Philip Russotti

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